You may have shown up uninvited. You may have screwed up our plans. You certainly messed with mine. You were unexpected and unwanted. You changed our lives.
You see, Covid, we had a life before you arrived. A different life. A life where we had no curfew, no scares, no panic.
Then you showed up, you crept in slowly and started to awaken the scares and the panic. You circulated and worried everyone, myself included. Would we be ok? How long will you last? What are you?
Those worries turned into panic attacks. Will my unborn child be ok? Will you harm us during my pregnancy? Will my partner be able to assist the birth of his first born? This is when you started to piss me off. Yet, you were only around for a month, maybe 6 weeks.
And then it happened. Contractions. Water broke. Off to the hospital. And things were falling back into place. I was fine. My baby was healthy. My partner held my hand the whole way through. And for those 3 days, you didn’t exist. Until it was time to leave. That’s when it all came back, full force. What about visitors? Can relatives hold her? Can we go out into the world?
And we did, slowly. One day at a time. And it was amazing, you felt practically fictitious. So much so, that when we find out that we were going to be a family of 4 – we were thrilled !
But you showed up, once again. Uninvited. Will I have to wear a mask when I give birth? Will the vaccine be harmful to my unborn child? Will relatives be able to babysit my daughter while we go to the hospital?
And then the days went by. And it happened again, and quickly. Water broke. Contractions. Off to the hospital. And we barely made it, but everyone was well.
Yes, I had to wear a mask during the delivery. But once again, my partner was able to hold my hand the whole time. Together, we looked at our son, relieved it was finally over. All the questions we previously had, erased.
And although you are still around. You are no longer a cause of stress in my life.
You see, Covid, I did have a life before you arrived. A different life. A life where I had curfew, no scares, no panic. But it was also a life with no children.
Yes, in some ways you may have changed my life. And although I do have a curfew, it’s only so that I can rock my babies to sleep. And yes, I have scared and am paniced, but they are scares and panic that my children might get hurt.
And this new life. With the curfew, the scared and the panic, is turning out to be the best life. Because now that I have my children, I have no more room for you.
So, thank you Covid. Thank you for preparing me. Getting me ready for an uncertain, unstable and emotional life. Because one with children is never certain, never stable and surely a complete emotional rollercoaster !