As you smile at me with your eyes barely open, I realise that the washing can wait, the dishes can get done later, but you will never be this tiny again. So I decide to sit here, with you in my arms, and watch you fall asleep. I decide to take a moment to hear your breath go in and out, watch your chest go up and down, and think to myself what a beautiful baby you are and how lucky I am to have a daughter as lovely as you.
When I lean in to kiss your forhead, your grip tightens on my sweater, which you haven’t let go of since the moment I picked you up from your crib.
Some will say that maybe I should have left you to fuss in your crib and fall asleep exhausted, but I needed this just as much as you did. And as I watch you dream, I wonder what you might be thinking. You’re just shy of 4 months old, what horrors have you seen that make you cry? What joy have you experienced that make you laugh? What could you possibly be dreaming about? I don’t know, and I never will. And that’s ok, because your dreams are yours, to forget, to love and to dislike.You are my dream come true, my muse, my work of art, my proudest joy !
You have inspired me, and keep inspiring me ! I am happy, excited and scared all at once. I am excited to see how lovely a woman you will become. I am happy that you will forever be my daughter. Although, I am scared to see you grow up so fast and I am scared that I will miss many things in your life.
I promise you, I will never judge you. I will never mock you. I will keep your secrets and listen to your stories. You are my daughter, forever and always. But you have your own life and your own path. I will support all of your decisions. I will offer advice only when asked. I will be there to hold your hand through the good times and the bad. I am your mother. That’s it, that’s all. Your mother, who will always love you, no matter what you do.
