The pads. The tubes. The flanges. The charger. The haakaa. The collection cups. The bottles. The valves. All the little details that aren’t mentioned when you first think of pumping.

Most people imagine pumping to be just a mama getting milked. But behind that pumping bra and the breast pump and the cover, are all the little details, all the feelings and all the scares that come with being a mama.

My journey with breast pumping did not go as planned. Neither with my eldest nor with my youngest.

I pumped for approximately 3 months for each of my children, and it was hard. Some days I felt stronger than the world, and others I would crumble if I spilled a drop of my milk. A constant battle with my mental health and wellbeing.

When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I ended my pumping journey and formula-fed my daughter.
When we moved, I ended my pumping journey once again and formula-fed my son.
Do I wish I kept pumping?
And no.

Yes, I wish I could have pushed through and kept going because on the days that I felt strong, I felt invincible, amazing, and more confident than ever.
No, because on those days where the slightest thing brought me to tears, I felt insufficient, unable to provide for my children and it destroyed my self-esteem.

Today, my children are formula-fed and happier than ever. I am happy that I pumped, but I am also happy that I stopped.
Today, I look back at my pumping days and I am proud that I was able to accomplish a total of 6 months of pumping.
Today, I realize that I am lucky to have been able to breastfeed, pump, and formula-feed my children. I am lucky that I had those options.
Today, I celebrate #WorldBreastPumpingDay in memory of my pumping days and in support of other mothers who pump, pumped, or plan on pumping.

I got you, mama.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.